La La Land, Part One

One of the most exciting adventures I have been on was my road trip to LA. Jesse was going to be out of town for a week and a half and trusted me enough to lend his car while he was gone in Atlanta. I already had a crazy summer but didn't know what to do with myself next. A couple months earlier, I went to a music festival in southern Cali called Coachella, that left me pining for more. My original plan was to go to Burning man, which was in the Nevada Black Hill Desert. But with little time to prepare and no money to accommodate me on my escapade, it slowly got booted from my "list of things to do this summer". So as I sat there twiddling my thumbs, I had to think of some master plan to keep me occupied. Hmmm... No money, a car for a ten days and nothing to do. This was dangerous and could potentially get me in trouble. So I did the only thing a freshly 24 year old would do. I took my rent money and some cash stashed away, packed a few things, put my puppy in the car and headed south. Ring, Ring....  I quickly dialed a friends, but first were my alley cats in San Francisco. "Umm... Hey!! What are you doing this weekend?'' I asked in confidence to my friend "Just working. I might hangout with my friends. Why?'' Robert replied nonchalant. "Well, I have my friends car for a little over a week and I was driving down that way anyways....so I wanted to see what you were doing." Surprise! There was a pause for a few seconds before he started laughing and proclaimed I was out of my mind but that if I wanted to come over, I could. So there I was, driving from Seattle southbound on I-5. I was out of my mind. I took my rent money for hostage, made my dog my side kick/ partner in crime and commandeered my friends vehicle while he was gone. Who does that?!

 When I got to Portland, OR, I felt a little anxious. Thoughts started to race through my head. Should I turn back. I really shouldn't be doing this. He's going to kill me. What if I don't have enough money or I run out of gas? Or I break down somewhere and a serial killer kidnaps me and then I have to be forces to live in a basement until he decides how he wants to kill me?!  I was literally having a mental breakdown on the freeway.  Calm down now... You're fine. Just take a deep breaths.  I immediately flicked the little angel off my shoulder and continued on my journey. The time started to fly. 6 p.m...... 7 p.m....9 p.m....11p.m... Suddenly it was midnight and I was starting to get tired. My eyes were glued to the charcoal pavement I drove on. At this point, I was more in fear of hitting a deer or elk then I was of flying off the freeway, being killed at a rest stop or crashing cause I fell asleep. I was going pretty damn fast down the winding valley. Finally, I came across a sign that convincingly said there were motels up ahead. I was in the middle of nowhere. What could I possibly get at this hour? I slowly pulled into this little carnival of a town and really slowed down when I saw the lit up welcome sign. YREKA! It loomed at me in a Come in...we wont hurt you... way that made me almost turn around. One of three things were bound to happen. 1. It would be like Hansel and Gretel. The little old lady would lure me in with her gingerbread house made of yummy candy then end up being a witch and EAT ME!! 2. I would pull in, not thinking much of it because I was tired, get a room and in the middle of the night, my life would turn into the movie The Vacancy. or 3. I would get a room, most likely a seedy one judging by the little town, and just go to sleep scared shitless with my dog to protect me. Yup, it was number 2. Just Kidding!! ha ha. I pulled up to this hotel called Budget Inn and almost slept in the car.


But I mustered up the courage to go ring the door bell for the manager, pepper spray in hand just in case.  *wink wink* A little dark man, smelling of curry came to the window. "Hello..what can I do for you?" He asked with his thick accent half asleep. "Ummm.. hi... I'd like one room for tonight please." I said nervously and glanced behind me to make sure no one was running up to stab me with a huge kitchen knife. He took my credit card, processed the info and handed me the room keys. "Room 204 to the left. Check out is at 10:00 a.m.. Thank you." He closed his window then disappeared through a dark brown door into a room with just a T.V. on. I walked very fast back to the car, jumped in, and locked the doors. Finally safe. Francois looked at me with his puppy dog eyes like I was crazy. I stared back, then looked around paranoid, afraid I'd be killed at any moment. They always kill the guy who is in the car. They always do! Or they wait until the innocent person parks and when they get out... Bam!! Their dead, I thought, panicking a little. I fumbled for the car keys in my purse, put them in the ignition and managed to turn the car on. Pulling into my assigned space and parking, I hurriedly grabbed a few things. Purse... check. Keys...check. Dog...check. Oh shit... what am I forgetting?! EEEeEEEEKS! Oh that's right! Pepper spray. Phew!  I ran to my room, got in and locked every lock I could find on the door. There was one. But I placed a chair in front of the door, just in case someone tried to get in. Francois trotted up and licked my hand as if he was letting me know he was going to protect me. I think he knew I was scared. I was a little intimidated to take a shower, thinking it might turn into a Albert Hitchcock movie and mommy dearest would appear on the other side of the shower curtain. So I made Francois take one with me; periodically looking out into the bathroom. After drying off, I put on my PJ's and climbed into bed. I feel asleep with Francois at the end of the bed, pepper spray in one hand and a high heel in the other. Just in case.

 The next morning, bright and early, we walked to the car once again to venture on towards Los Angeles. "You have dog in the room?! I charge you extra." Another man with a thick accent yelled from behind me. Startled, I flung around and lied "Oh no.. this guy... I was just...ummmm... I took him to the bathroom. Then forgot I left something in the room so i went back in to get it........he just followed me in." I looked at Francois like how could you follow me in there! The man knew I was lying, considering I was pulling him around by his leash. Dogs are always a good resource to use when trying to get yourself out of sticky situation. For instance, when you are on a bad date. Or when you don't want to hangout with someone. Or your roommates shirt comes up missing, you would say something along the lines of... "Oh.... he accidentally peed on it and I had to take it to the dry cleaners. So Sorry." Knowing, that you had worn it the night before for a really hot date and it was actually in your dirty laundry basket. So the man stared at me. It was almost like a I was about to have a showdown; first man who draws first wins. Instead, I jumped in the car and took off. Waving as I drove out of the small parking lot. Goodbye Yreka, Hello LA.    




**By the way... Yes, this is based of true events and experiences from my own life.**

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Last Night, when I was on the plane southbound to San Diego, I felt like the adventure in my life had just began. I met a guy who sat next to me in 8A; great conversation and a peace of mind. Explaining to him my plans for the summer, I felt a little blessed that I was able to accommodate myself with such an experience as I was about to put forth. Then waking up this morning, not only in a different state but a whole different world than mine; I knew this trip was just the beginning. So here I am in my hotel room planning my day. So many options. First, I will venture out to the beach, for when I feel the sand between my toes I know I am somewhere I belong. Then who knows where my day will take me. Just hearing the ocean beckon to me from the shores is enough to make my whole trip worth it.  But then again, I can hear the islands of Hawai'i calling for me to come back.

“All the pathos and irony of leaving one’s youth behind is thus implicit in every joyous moment of travel: one knows that the first joy can never be recovered, and the wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time.” – Paul Fussell

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

Don't you hate it when you are in the airport and you catch the eye of a stranger. It seems as if you were looking into their eyes forever. They intensity of the stare ignites and it's almost as if you can hear angles singing all around the terminal. Turning away in shyness, you suddenly blush. Cupid has narrowed in, marking his target and hit. Bullseye! It's done. There is no coming back from this spell. Or is there... Because once you realize that this person suddenly need to board their plane to who-knows-where, you feel the urge to run after them and confess your love? No. Instead you sit there, wondering why you caught a glimpse of heaven for a brief moment with someone you will never see again. I always wonder if I have by chance met my soul mate and never ever knew it was him. Or if we had been in the same place, at the same time many times and fate pulled us away from each for some reason. Why must we be in search of our soul mate? If they were our soul mate, then shouldn't they have been sent to us. The Universe's gift as we enter the world.

Here are some of what others have to say about soul mates:

"A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soul mate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful."   ~Urban Dictionary

"Aristophanes presented a story about soulmates in The Symposium by Plato. It states that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them."  ~ Wiki-pedia on Ancient Greece belief


"Soul mates tend to find each other during their respective pursuits of their soul missions. Creating a soul mate could be seen as a spiritual reward that we give ourselves, after pursuing many soul contracts rife with discord.
~Linda Brady 

 I thought I met my soul mate once. The night I met him, I was invited out by his cousin. Unsure that it was a date, I took a liking to him instantly. I soon forgot about his cousin or that he was even with us. It was if there was magic all around us that night, protecting us. Like we were in our own world. It felt like that every time we hung out, but then I moved away and the feelings we have had for each other still remain a mystery. Although, we are still really good friends. But as far as I'm concern from what I have read on how others define it, that's how I felt. And still do, but maybe we are not. Maybe my soul mate is still out there.... Searching for me as I am searching for him. 








"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless. "
Pema Chodron

Him, her and who's that bitch?!

They say the nice guy always finishes last. And that the girl always goes for the asshole. My theory... The nice guy was way too submissive and insecure to notice that his "roll over and lay like a puppy" routine wasn't working for the pretty lady he was pursuing. And the girl who went for the asshole, well... she was probably insecure too and didn't feel like she deserved anything better. My friends who often break up with their boyfriends ALWAYS want to go out to "man hunt". They believe they will find a decent guy while they are piss drunk, hair messed up, make up smeared and shoes falling off. "Fuck relationships!",  slurring a little, "I'm going to find me a handsome stranger to make me forget all about so and so" she would say determinably. And I would nod, encouraging her that she is so in the right. "Good idea. Here.... take another shot. You'll feel better in 10 minutes and will forget all about...what's his name again? Oh that's right... Fuckface."  Knowing deep down this was the complete wrong way to handle a breakup. An hour and a few drinks later, she would be crying to me about how much she missed him and "he use to call me his little sugar plum... *sniffle sniffle* and tell me I was his everything!" 15 minutes later she would be in raged, telling me how much of an asshole he was for cheating on her. Followed by a couple more shots and her ending up hitting on the ugliest guy in the bar. Good thing she has her trusty friend to get her home safe and sound! At least she would be in her bed with her cat and not some creepy guy named John Paul. As we would stumble to get a cab, they always proclaim "fuck him..." slurring even more than before,  "I'm over him. I'm never going to talk to him anymore! Nope." As I glance at my watch and nod in agreement, "Good idea love. He is so not right for you. You will find a better guy."...knowing this wouldn't last long. It would either be 5 minutes, an hour, the next day or a week later, that she would go crawling back to him like someone lost in the desert desperate for water. After he would "forgive'' her for something he did, he would say, "It's okay babycakes, you just need to chill out sometimes." turning it around like she was being dramatic and acting like a psycho for getting mad at him that he flirted, kissed or fucked some other girl. Now don't get me wrong. This happens to men too. I have many guy friend act like this when a girl they liked deceived them. So it is a two sided story. Women are just as much to blame, as are men. Women are just smarter about not getting caught. *wink* Sometimes it best to just not be with anyone. Center yourself and learn how to get a better judgment of character so this doesn't happen again. People do stupid shit when they are in love. Or even in lust. They fall into destructive patterns, thinking they are the perfect couple and everyone else is the one with the problem. This is what I say, "If you're not happy, then why are you wasting your time when there are so many other fish in the sea? You are fishing in the wrong pond my friend." So moral of this story... looking for men in bars is not a good idea.. and if you are having troubles in your relationship..alcohol will not cure it. Ask yourself, "am I happy?" then base your decision off your answer. Don't settle for less.



"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
Marilyn Monroe

Jesus, Mary and Joesph... OH MY!!!

I guess the world was suppose to end yesterday. They great lord almighty himself was to come back and make himself know. Then while people were lining up like they were about to meet Obama, the rapture would start and all the good people of the land would be saved. Meanwhile, the people who were naughty little boys and girls and marked the "sign of the beast", would be tortured for 5 months then go to hell. AFTER,  he would become an arsonist and set the world on fire, forever destroying it. The End.  Hmmm.... Well, I'm still here... and your still here. Either, it never happened. Or it did and this is our personal hell we still live in. Unsure of how to approach religion, I don't want to sit here typing this and sounding completely ignorant. BUT this is what one Harold Camping said was to happen. An 89 year old, preacher, who is obviously senile. Not only did he predict this twice before but he was wrong once again. Hello people!!! WAKE UP!!! It's like the story of Chicken Little. The fox comes along to eat the chickens in the pin. But in order for him to get his hands on all the tasty chickens and avoid the farmers shot gun, he must come up with a plan to get them. He decides he will prey on someone who is innocent and doesn't know any better. Here is where Chicken Little comes in. The fox convinces him that the sky is falling. After clucking around in panic and riling everyone up, the Cocky Mayor calms everyone down and reassures them that "it was just a piece of wood, Chicken Little was just overreacting." The fox then comes up with another plan. "Plant seeds of doubt in the community of chickens about their Leader and then he will doubt himself." SO this happens and they all decide to listen to Chicken Little which leads them to being eaten by the big bad fox.

All of this nonsense about the world ending could have caused so much chaos and destruction over one mans theory. I am respectful of most religions. And although I might not understand it all that clear I try not to be to judgmental. But the origin of the bible isn't precise. Where did it come from really???? And who actually wrote it?? Over YEARS and YEARS this book must have been rewritten and edited just a smudge... if not the whole thing. I do believe in a higher power... trust me, there is something out there. But believing in a man I have never met and believing that the bible is a magical book and if I whisper magical words called "prayers".. Everything will just magically get better. No. That is not how it works. I am a very optimistic person. But that is just silly to me. I am sure there once was a man named Jesus (which I like to refer to as Jesus, with a silent J), and he did many miraculous things. But with over 20 religions to choose from, which one do I choose?!!!  I think we should believe in ourselves and once we can learn to loves ourself and be more conscious of what is going on around us... then will we all be in our own personal heaven here on Earth. Well, there you have it. My opinion on that subject. This is not to discourage you in anyway or tell you that you are a completely idiot for believing that the Bible is a magical book who tells a story of a magical man with magic powers.... *cough* It's my way of getting out what I feel inside. So continue with your faith. Don't stop believing. Cause maybe one day unicorns will come back into existence. Who knows...


“Religions die when they are proved to be true. Science is the record of dead religions.” Oscar Wilde

Down the Rabbit hole and into a land of Wonder....

Remember when you were a kid? Everything seemed so magical and far away. You were careless and believed that one day you would grow up to be a princess in a fairytale of excitement. Living in a castle and happily ever after with the Prince you waited for your whole life. But instead your parents would tell you what to do and what not to do. Sneering at them, you would say, "Once I am a grown-up, everything will go my way. I won't have to worry about others telling me what to do anymore." This was also what Alice, from the book Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, thought. But as she fell deep down into that rabbit hole, she found as she went farther into this new and foreign place, people kept telling her who she was, what to do and where to go. She thought that running away from home and all her problems, would solve them and in the end she so desperately just wanted to get back. As we get older, things do not turn out the way we thought they would be. We do not have others (our parents), waiting on us, hand and foot. We have to work hard for what we have and earn the things we want. Sometimes, with no one to guide us through what seems to be a very strange wonderland.

Today, I would like my readers to take 10 minutes out of their very busy lives. Grab a notebook, or anything you can write on (I like receipts or napkins), something to write with and answer these three questions:

1. What is your dream?
2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? (yes, answer both)
3. When you were little, what did you want to be? What do you do now? And would you change anything from your dream as a kid to what you do now?

There is no right or wrong answer to this. It's just simply an exercise you can use just because. But sometimes we stray so far from our dreams, our wants and desires that it's good to have a reminder. Hope everyone enjoys their Monday!!!! XO




"We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."

- Louisa May Alcott

Dont force it.. Just let it come naturally.

I know it has been a very long time since I have posted anything. I hope that you didn't think I gave up. I spend more of my time writing my ideas down on paper, napkins and receipts then I do on my laptop. So please don't take it personal. Again, I have began taking yet another Creative Writing class. What I had thought was a more in depth look at 'words' themselves, ended up being another writers opinion of how I should release my inner diary. My instructor is a woman from Cape Town, South Africa, named Shani Raviv. She recently publish a book called, Being Ana: A memoir on Anorexia Nervosa.  Before I can be a critic, I need to read it first. I plan on doing that tonight so I may get a better impression of who is teaching me. But also, to see how her style of writing is. I am always very enthralled when I read a book by someone I actually met. It's almost as if I can hear them speaking the words as I read them. Shani recommended us to write enthusiastically this week. She explained about Stream of Consciousness. That everyday we woke up, "before you do anything, spend about 15-30 minutes to take a mental shit onto the paper." Take a mental shit?, I thought. "What I mean by that, is you are writing down everything you are thinking. And by doing this, you are getting rid of the critic in your head.'' Hmm... I can dig it. I do this quite often. I wish I would carry around a recorder with me. Or some duck tape, for sometimes I tend to think before I speak. My thoughts always get me in trouble.

Anyways, today I went to the post office and received a book called Do These Gloves Make My Ass Look Fat? from a very lovely lady I met in Key West a few weeks ago. Oh yes.. I have gone so long without posting anything and a lot has happened. Well, I was in Key West, FL on a ghost tour. I think it was my second day there and I was hammered. I kept wondering off from the tour but somewhere along the way, I met Christina who was also on the tour. English accent, a little taller than me, burnett, very beautiful and an enticing charming soul. I was very intoxicated and didn't get to know her all that well, but before i left The Keys, she asked me for my address. And there I was at the post office earlier, with her book in my hand. I read the first chapter as I was walking to catch the bus and I must say I would recommend it to many friends. It's as charming, witty and humorous as her personality. And like I had said before, as I was reading it, it was as if I could hear her speaking the words.

Well, with that said, I am incredibly inspired to write. I will share more of my thoughts in the next couple of days. I promise.   ;)

Oh.. and let me add, a book that was recommend by instructor I feel is good for those who are stuck and need to break free of writers block or that "critic in your head". Julia Cameron's A Writer's Life. Enjoy!!!


"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."  ~E.L. Doctorow